Elizabeth Smillie

Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
The Nurturer

The characterization is rather long, but as I read through it (and shortened it slightly for the blog) I was surprised at how accurate it was. As I said, it is long – so please feel free to skip it! But, if you read through, you’ll get to know me pretty much as I am, weaknesses and strengths included.

“ISFJs are sympathetic, loyal, considerate and conscientious. They will go to any amount of trouble, when it makes sense to them [that’s a key factor], to help those in need. ISFJs operate most comfortably in situations where the rules are well defined and where traditions are to be upheld. They focus on providing practical help and services for others and for the organizations they serve. They are often self-effacing in getting the job done, and they are willing to make necessary sacrifices, especially for their families. They are at their best quietly providing assistance and making sure things are in proper order.

ISFJ Strengths
• Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
• Service-oriented, wanting to please others [sometimes I wonder, “do I really want to serve, or am I just trying to please them?”]
• Good listeners
• Will put forth lots of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
• Excellent organizational capabilities
• Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs
• Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money
• Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

ISFJ Weaknesses
• Don’t pay enough attention to their own needs
• May have difficulty branching out into new territory [no kidding!]
• Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
• Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside

Living
ISFJ children are conscientious, diligent, and rarely a behaviour problem to their parents or teachers [not so sure about that]. They like to know what is expected, and then they will dutifully and quietly follow through. … Security and routine are very important to ISFJ children. … ISFJ children like to know exactly what they are supposed to do in school and like to feel certain that they have the skills before being called upon. ISFJs need gentle nudging to move beyond their comfort level [definitely!]. They may worry a lot about any number of things. This is apparent even in young children [was it really? hmm]. Because of their inward focus, it simply does not occur to them to share their problems with others [so true]. … They avoid center stage and contribute willingly in quiet, practical, behind-the-scenes ways. When comfortable, they can radiate their feelings and thoughtful values outward to others. They are often accepted for their kindness and quiet friendliness. They typically select a few special friends and nurture these friendships over long periods of time.

ISFJs shy away from disharmony and try to maintain cooperation at all costs… In their careers, ISFJs are often likely to take what comes along … rather than continue to look for something else and remain in a state of flux. Once in a job, they generally try to make the most of it, since the known is preferable to the unknown. They are loyal employees who diligently work at whatever tasks are given to them.

Learning and Working
ISFJs tend to be good students, because they diligently follow through in their work to please their teachers. One aspect of pleasing their teachers is wanting to know their teachers’ basic requirements so that they can meet them to the letter of the law [yup]. They like having assignments that tangibly demonstrate that they have worked hard [and get a little recognition, too]. They are not likely to feel comfortable with an independent study project, because independent study leaves them too much on their own without a set of definite procedures [“but what am I supposed to do?!]. ISFJs learn best by doing. … They find arguing to be nonproductive and even uncomfortable. They like clear conclusions to their learning. They want to know the right answer [not just an answer, it has to be correct]. They may need to accept that situations do not always have one answer and learn to feel comfortable with that.

At work, ISFJs … are known for their kindness and for their willingness to go to any length to help those in need. They take the practical needs of people into account when they do their work, and their strong follow-through skills allow them to carry out organizational goals. They do at least what is expected to them and oftentimes more, without attracting attention to themselves. … ISFJs are attracted to occupations that require dedication to others, service, attentiveness to details, and thoroughness. They would rather work with things that they can see – the tangibles that result in something worthwhile for people [again, all this is so true].
Some occupations are more appealing to ISFJs: … curator, family practice physician, health service worker, librarian, medical technologist, nurse, preschool and elementary teacher, typist, and other occupations that provide opportunities for them to meet their need to be of service to others [and at some point I have wanted to be all of these!].

Loving
For the ISFJ, love means security and commitment. ISFJs tend to fall hard when they fall in love. In love, ISFJs tend to epitomize people who radiate warmth and good feeling. While ISFJs may not verbalize deep love or the underlying sense of security and commitment that they feel, their contented facial expressions and demeanors illustrate their inner thoughts [what?! Okay, I know I may not say or express things very well, but really!]. They will do whatever is necessary to maintain this state. When the spouse or family of the ISFJ does not meet his or her expectations, the opposite facial expression or demeanor may occur [mmm, yes, the opposite may occur. Just ask those who live with me]. They are unlikely to talk with others about their disappointments [yes, and it is a weakness].

Relationships
ISFJs place a great deal of importance on their personal relationships. They’re generally very giving and loving people, who place the needs of others above their own. … They take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships. ISFJs are extremely dependable, and put forth a lot of energy into keeping things running smoothly. They sometimes have difficulty saying “no” when asked to do something. … What makes them feel best about themselves is when others show them their appreciation of the ISFJ. Consequently, the best gift that the partner of an ISFJ can give them is the expression of their love and appreciation. ISFJs have difficulty with conflict situations, and would much prefer to just sweep things under the rug [another weakness]. It’s a common problem for ISFJ’s to not express their feelings until pushed to some limit, after which they explode in anger and say things which they later feel they shouldn’t have said [mmm, yes (to my shame)]. … In general, the ISFJ is usually a traditional, family-minded individual who places the comfort of their mates and families as their first priority in life. They’re great for providing for everyday basic needs, and have a depth of caring which is very unusual, and not found in most types.

ISFJs as Parents
Parenthood is seen as natural state to the ISFJ. … ISFJs may have difficulty administering punishment or discipline to their children, although most are able to overcome this discomfort because they feel it is their greater duty to instill their children with sound values [most are able to overcome this – hahah!]. … In many ways, an ISFJ makes an ideal parent [well, I hope so]. Their children will not lack for structure, appropriate guidelines, or warmth and affection.

ISFJs as Friends
Although the ISFJ is likely to place God and family above their friends in their priorities, they genuinely enjoy spending time with friends and colleagues. In fact, ISFJs usually feel a strong need to talk problems and issues over with people before making decisions on their actions [yes, strangely]. ISFJs … love to observe people’s reactions and emotions in situations, and so enjoy being around diverse types of people [people watching is a favorite form of entertainment – even when I am actively engaged in conversation with you, I am considering your reactions]. The ISFJ usually remains reserved around others, and does not open up very much. However, since they have a need to talk things over with others in order to make decisions, they do really need some close confidantes in their life.”