Elizabeth Smillie

I found some mascara that won’t cry off! Really! Clinque just came out with their Lash Power Mascara Long Wearing Formula, in black onyx and dark chocolate. It is $14 for a tube, but I figured that, since it won’t smear, it would be worth it. I bought the black, and it is on the list of things to take to the church on Saturday morning!

I am swamped. Positively. And rather amazed that I am getting anything done at all! But at the same time I am realizing more intensely just how much my family will miss me. How much I will miss them. I know that they love me, but until recently I have tried to brush off thinking about how things will change with me moving away. I know it will hurt when I do finally sit down and let it sink in, and I don’t want to go through that.
But I need to.
Because it makes all the little moments until then more ….. more needed. Not more special, but more valuable.
I was thinking tonight about how how my grandmas are aging and what they are able to do, but more about what they aren’t able to do. I began to cry. I always thought that my grandmas would be able to go shopping with me for wedding stuff, attend my showers, talk about how things change when you get married and share their wisdom. But things aren’t like that. Neither one is at a place where they are able to do that, and I had a pity party.
More grieving what isn’t than feeling sorry for myself, but it was still a pity party.
I miss what I have not had. Terribly.
But John reminded me tonight that both of them still love me dearly.
I needed that.
I was reminded tonight of how fleeting the time is, and how valuable is the love that they have for me. How I need to treasure my loved ones, and not let anything get in the way of loving them.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me…Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come.” Habakkuk 2:3

“Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you”! Eph. 5:14

When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me.” They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely not I, Lord?” -Matthew 26:20-22

What is it to betray our LORD? I see giving the focus and worship that belongs to anything else as betrayal. “Surely not I?” I stray from absolute worship so often. So terribly often. I allow little things, stupid things, to distract me from my LORD. When He beckons me toward Him, sometimes I do not even see. Because I am so preoccupied with “me”, what “I want”, or what “others think”.
I allow those things to take His place. Sometimes even eagerly.

Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely not I, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “Yes, it is you.”
-Matthew 26:25
It is. And yet, in spite of that, Jesus loves me, cares for me, died for me, rose for me, and stands before the Father for me as my Righteousness. In spite of my betrayal, He did all this for me.

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”
-Matthew 26: 26-28

He knows me, even my tendency to betray Him, and yet offers Himself freely as my complete Righteousness.
Such is Love.

In response to this Love, I believe that I need to battle against the “Judas” in me, every moment of every day.

Remembering is a gift. A precious gift that allows us to relive the joy of yesterday, cherish today, and yearn for a more perfect tomorrow.
I remember a woman who loved pink. A woman who loved her husband, family and friends deeply. A woman whose front door – painted pink – was never locked. She lived hospitality, and her freezer always had enough strawberry and toasted almond ice cream for each person to have a cone.
She loved dolls.
She took pictures – lots of pictures – of her family and friends. She made those pictures into cards, which she sent to them for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, their birthdays, or just because.
She loved flowers, pink things, delicate and beautiful things, but most of all she loved her God.
“Grandma” Patterson died on Sunday morning, was buried on Thursday, and her memorial service is Saturday.
I remember a woman who taught me how to make coconut-oatmeal cookies, as well as the art of offering them as refreshments to men whose hands were so grimy from working that there was no skin visible.
She and her husband were married for 59 1/2 years, glorious years that bear testimony to a gracious God and a loving humility.

now this was interesting. I answered all the questions on the quiz – as well as I could (how do you choose which actress would best play you?Kate Winslet, Jenniefer Ehle, or Gwyneth Paltrow?) – and came up with this answer:

Take the Quiz here!

I am still reading through the Old Testament, and I am currently making my way through Zechariah.
Something that continues to amaze me – though it should hardly be a surprise, it has been reiterated so many times – is how much God blatantly and passionately desires us. He wants an intimate, heart-to-heart, being-to-Being relationship with us, sharing all that we are and never being separated. He will even move Heaven and Earth if the end result will be that He is the Object of our adoration.
He never ceases to yearn over His people, even when they will not acknowledge Him. Simply imagine His joy and delight when we focus all of our desires on Him.

Which Disney Princess Are You?
	You are Belle. You are strong, deep, and you are not a slave to petty superficial things. You are independent and allow yourself to see inner beauty without sacrificing your values. You are almost too good of a person.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

This was funny. “Strong, deep, … Almost too good of a person.” Yup. That’s me. (HAH!) But I was quite flattered to be compared to Belle. After all, she is my favorite princess (and if anyone wants to get me a really great Christmas present, Beauty and the Beast is a wonderful idea …).

Which Famous Artist Are You?
	You are Ansel Adams. Your artistic tool of choice is the camera, but you’ve got lots of other skills as well. Spoiled when you were young, you grew up to be a loving person and you have a deep affinity for nature and all things black and white.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Once again, I was flattered. I mean, really, Ansel Adams. Wow. But, “spoiled when I was young”? Hmm. Maybe I should find something better to waste my time on …