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God-powered Mothering

God-powered Mothering

 One of the blogs I follow – Femina, written by Nancy Wilson and her daughters/daughter in law – posted about loving our children. Not just loving them, though, but loving them with a I Corinthians 13 kind of love, a Christ-like love. I was thinking of paraphrasing what they wrote, but it’s all good!
So here it is:

“1. Love is longsuffering. Moms will have plenty of provocations in this world, so they need to be able to suffer for a long time. Some of this longsuffering involves putting up with people who degrade motherhood and despise children. Moms need to think long term, give themselves a good job description, and adopt God’s view of the high calling of motherhood.
2. Love is kind. “She openeth her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26). Much kindness (and unkindness) comes via words. Pervasive kindness means listening, forgiving, anticipating, speaking, and doing. It includes physical comforts for your kids: giving them clean beds, warm food, soap and water. It is a LAW of kindness, which means it includes discipline and instruction that is given kindly.
3. It is not envious. Not of other mothers, not of other people’s children or their accomplishments or grades or personality. This means no comparisons with the other siblings, no complaining. Children feel their parents disapproval and it can crush them.
4. It does not vaunt (parade) itself. Moms should be careful not to provoke others to envy (or disgust or weariness) by putting their children on display in a bragging way, hijacking every conversation back to the report card or the clever cuteness. This does not mean that moms should not praise their children and rejoice in their accomplishments. But the Christmas letter should not be full of vaunting.
5. Love is not puffed up. This implies being full of oneself. And this is the kind of mom who cannot be taught by her own children because the kids are never right, and mom is never wrong. This kind of parent is full of her own authority and looks to lord it over the kids rather than love them. She demands attention.
6. Does not behave rudely (unseemly). This means improper or inappropriate behavior. We’ve all seen this at the grocery store: “You are driving me crazy! I am going to count to three and then I’m leaving you here!” Love does not threaten. Love takes responsibility. Love doesn’t over-share about her children’s needs, failures, weaknesses, or sins.
7. Seeks not its own. This kind of mom gives herself away. Home is for the family, and the schedule is for the kids, not the kids for the schedule. This means family night is not the night the kids dread.
8. Not easily provoked. This kind of supernatural love doesn’t react. It sees the big picture and doesn’t flip out over spilled milk or muddy shoes.
9. Thinks no evil. She hears both sides of the story first before making a judgment. She doesn’t believe everything she hears. She does not attribute motives.
10. Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. When someone else’s child fails or flunks or loses, she does not do a victory dance.
11. Bears all things. Sickness. Slowness. Messiness. Childishness. She can bear these things if she has supernatural love.
12. Believes all things. She loves the truth! She lives it out and she teaches her children to believe.
13. Hopes all things. This kind of supernatural love can believe that God is in control of all things, even this sickness or this frustration or this loss. This kind of mom hopes in God and knows He is writing her story and her children’s stories.
14. Endures all things. Who can do this without the supernatural love and power of God?

15. Love never fails. This love sees the kids to the finish line with faith and courage.
Okay, so who doesn’t need supernatural love to do this? Pray to God for it! He loves to give the supply.”

He does love to give when we ask (especially when we ask for things that make us more like Him), and always will.

Asking God for love like His reminded me of the verses at the end of Ephesians 3:
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name,
 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,
 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,
 to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

Amen and amen.

  

He. Is. Faithful.

He. Is. Faithful.

“suffering is not for nothing. It’s not just an opportunity to try and trust God. There is something glorious that He desires to produce in us through our sufferings.” a. ann

“Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who has promised is faithful;” -Heb 10:23

He is faithful.

He is faithful.

He is faithful.

He. Is. Faithful.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can expect “baby blues” to hit me about 6 weeks after I give birth.
For some reason, even though I get tired and a bit emotional after my babies are born, that passes fairly quickly and it’s not until about a month and a half goes by that I start reaching out for help. Or quietly shutting down and weeping.
It happened after Emma, and now it’s happening again.

It’s wonderful that Ian has started to smile. He lies there, saying “ah ga, ah ga” and smiling. Emma comes over and wants to snuggle. And it’s good. I wipe away tears and try to smile back.

I’m not really sad, per say, but not really happy either. The tears lie just beneath the surface and anything – or nothing – will make them flow.
I want to be happy, joy-filled, entering into Emma’s play. Most of the time I am. It’s just so much, much harder right now.

This feels like such a poor explanation of what is on my mind, what I wanted to say, but it’s a start. I want to come out on the other side of this time knowing that God was faithful, giving me grace. Knowing that, somehow, He was working out something glorious.
I want to see that fruit.


humble, joy-filled, God-dependent mothering

humble, joy-filled, God-dependent mothering

One of my friends texted me the other day asking how I was doing with emotionally, if I was feeling the “Baby Blues”. I hadn’t taken time recently to think about it – too much has been going on!
Once I took the time to think, though, I realized that I am doing okay – if I’m not tired. When I’m tired my emotions rise to just below the surface and almost anything can cause tears or “shortness”. Especially when both babies are being needy at the same time.

I found this blog post this afternoon about mothering that really spoke to my heart and I wanted to share a part of it.

“Motherhood … laughs in the face of our competence and confidence we try so hard to feel and have in a society that tells us we can do anything we want and do it good.

Motherhood can make a wimp out of us. Out of me.

…Don’t make motherhood an idol. Or motherhood your identity. If you do, you have failed at the calling you think you have and the fruit you thought you would reap, will devastate you.

But the truth is, … when you get into it all, you find it just doesn’t mix with a self-seeking heart. … It’s easy to lose our hearts to the glitter of a self-important career and forget that there are hearts under our charge that need our unconditional love and acceptance and training — AND IT’S WORTH IT.

I want to RISE TO THE CHALLENGE to the hardest career I could have ever chosen. Yep, I will probably have to tell myself this each and everyday. Not because I don’t LOVE every single one of my children, and not because I don’t love motherhood, but because it’s hard. And though I typically love a good challenge, this motherhood stuff goes beyond that. I can’t do it without God.

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?


To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up


I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone
-“Lead Me” by Sanctus Real “

 It’s so true. Having Emma was an entirely new experience in relying on God, but it didn’t wear me out. Having Ian and Emma? It’s driving me to my knees.
I want to give them and John “the best of my life” but I can’t do it. Not by myself.

this moment

this moment

A few pictures from this afternoon when Emma was napping:

Also, there’s a woman that writes a blog that I follow who wrote a good – and really long – post the other day about parenting. Here’s a snippet:

“Fear based parenting … is when parents motivate their children to do what is “right” out of fear. Just plain fear. …
Fear is sin. I do not want to parent my children based on my fears.
I do not want to raise fearful children either. I believe if we parent this way we can hinder our children from understanding who God is.
…
There are a few different types of fear based parenting possibly?
-parenting according to what we FEAR others will think of us.
-parenting where we actually plant FEAR in the hearts of our children [ultimately not trusting the Lord].
-over protecting out of FEAR.
-motivating our children to behave the way we want them to out of FEAR of us, or fear of hell, or fear of punishment.
…
I think fear based parenting is something that can easily sneak into our relating to our children without even realizing it.”

There’s a lot more too, just her recent thoughts on being a godly mother.


39 weeks

39 weeks

66 degrees (supposed to get to 86) with 91% humidity. And I am hot.
When the humidity here gets over, oh, about 50% I seem to loose my ability to cool down. Maybe because of all the extra fluid in my body?
It’s on mornings like this, where I wake up around 5 already sweating and then try to get back to sleep, that I feel as if I’m going to be pregnant forever. That I’ll always be this hot, this awkward, this big, never give birth, never get to meet our little one face-to-face, count his fingers and smell his sweetness. That those toes will always be jabbing me from the inside and I will never be able to count them.
And then I remember that God said that there is a season for everything. Everything. Even a time for birth (Eccl 3:2). Meaning that this too will come to an end.
And – after a while perhaps – I will miss it.

mother’s day

mother’s day

my second mother’s day, and the second baby is almost here.
time is passing quickly, so quickly.
what will the next year hold? 10 new little fingers, 10 new little toes. New baby smells and sounds. Emma’s first words. A little life beginning to explore the world, with a sister just barely older than he.
and God only knows what else.
one thing is sure – it will never be dull!

poem for today, part II

poem for today, part II

As I was thinking about it yesterday, I came to realize that this poem is (or can be) about more than romantic love (which is what I thought of when I first read it, when I made the page in the album I gave John, and every time I’ve seen it since then … until yesterday).
It can be about being a parent, too.
Because it’s true.
It’s true about love in marriage and love in parenting.
It’s an incredible and wonderful thing that God enables us to love our children more and more each day.
And it’s a really good thing, too, since, even though we love our children enormously on the day they are born, every extra little bit of love is needed on days when they’ve been grumpy since they got up and nothing will pacify or get them to snap out of it and you are about to cry yourself (not that we are having one of “those” days, not at all).

Today less than tomorrow ….


Do you remember this post from last fall? A very kind friend from California read it and sent us the pattern. It was so sweet of her! I found an extremely good deal deal on the material the day after Thanksgiving ($1.49 a yard! so amazing!) and made up the jammies for Emma a week or two later.

The pattern arrived with a paper doll that I’m going to hold on to for Emma to play with in a few years. It is also made of thicker tissue than your usual pattern, sturdy enough to be used over and over as she grows from one size to the next. The instructions are incredibly clear, and I even learned a new technique for making narrow ties (no more turning to the “right” side. it saves so much time). I am now a huge fan of Oliver + S!

Emma loves her new jammies, and looks just adorable wearing them. It has taken me a while to get some good photos of her actually in them, though, since the lighting is pretty bad in our apartment in the morning when she is at her most photogenic. This morning, however, we have a ton of snow which brightens everything.

Thank you, Tammi, for the pattern. It really was so sweet of you!!!