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new every morning

new every morning

-California Sunrise-

the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases/ His mercies never come to an end
they are new every morning/ … great is Thy faithfulness O LORD
great is Thy faithfulness

I love living in California. I even love living in the San Joaquin Valley. One thing I love about living in the San Joaquin Valley of California is that we have sunrises that do not merely cause you to catch your breath and worship, but that take your breath away entirely.
The view this morning was no exception.
Of course, there are days where the mountains seem to be non existent because of the smog, but the sunrise is always stunning.
This morning’s sunrise reminded me that God is good to me, very good. His mercies are always new. He sees my need and begins to meet it before I am even aware that it exists.
He is good.



Rememberances and Micah

Rememberances and Micah

I am still reading my way through the Old Testament, very slowly. This morning I was reading in Micah:

“Though all the peoples walk
Each in the name of its god,
As for us, we will walk
In the name of the LORD our God forever and ever.”
-4:5

“But as for you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
Too little to be among the clans of Judah,
From you One will go forth for Me to be ruler in Israel.
His goings forth are from long ago, from the days of eternity.”
-5:2


“With what shall I come to the LORD
And bow myself before the God on high?
Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings … ?
He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?”
-6:6-8

As I come to this Christmas season, I am remembering just how great, how awesome, how amazing, and just how merciful and good He has been to me.
Last Christmas John and I had just begun our courtship. This Christmas we are engaged, and Anna and I are spending the season with the Smillie family. I have come to know a joy that I had heard existed, but never knew it was possible that it would actually come to me.
This year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, one where God’s magnificent provision has been made very obvious. Dad lost his job in June, and we have learned first hand (over and over) that our God is the One who owns “the cattle on a thousand hills.”
I have known times of incredible spiritual dryness this year, but through them have come to know God in a deeper and fuller way.
There has been sorrow and pain this year, accompanied with uncertainty and grieving. One of my friends is spending this Christmas in Heaven, and, even though I am glad that she is no longer suffering, the place she left here on Earth is full of ache. It still brings tears.

God has been faithful. He has been extravagantly good.

Bella

Bella

“If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.”
-Jose in the movie Bella

Anna, Mom, some friends and I went to go see Bella on Monday night. It’s a good movie, a very good movie. It is a movie about despair about hope, about joy, love, about life. It is about grace. It is a movie that you should definitely consider seeing.

What plans have you made? Has God laughed?

“..you say, ‘Today or tomorrow, we shall go to such and such a city, … yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. … You ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and also do this or that.'”
-James 4:13-15

What plans have I made? Have I considered that the result of “my” plans is ultimately in the Lord’s hands? The movie gave me things to ponder, to think about. For example, the idea that a tragedy doesn’t have to end as a tragedy, but can become a source of beauty. It can become bella.

"If I Had to Live My Life Over Again"

"If I Had to Live My Life Over Again"


I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more I love yous, more I’m sorrys, but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it, really see it, live it, and never give it back.

-erma bombeck

Today I am trying to enjoy the moments as they come and revel in them, from the sunrise to the ironing, from dividing bulbs to smelling the rain to saying – and hearing – “I love you”. Because each one of these moments is a gift straight from my Father, and none will ever be repeated. Ever.

tea & roses

tea & roses


I stayed home from church this morning because I have a cold (a miserable one, that I really don’t want to share). Instead, I took a nap. I listened to U2’s All That You Can’t Leave Behind and the Newsboys Go and Devotion. I enjoyed a cup of tea. And took a picture of it. I read some from The Ragamuffin Gospel. I picked my roses. And relaxed. Was quiet. Even though I feel terrible today, I actually had a wonderful morning.

“When you look at the world
What is it that you see?
People find all kinds of things
That bring them to their knees“
-“When I Look At The World”, U2

“What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because Grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things“
-“Grace”, U2

“In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us – that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people for whom God is everything and for whom God is enough.” The Ragamuffin Gospel, chp II, by Brennan Manning

“That is his call to us – simply to be people who are content to live close to him and to renew the kind of life in which the closeness is felt and experienced.” – Thomas Merton

I wanna start it over
I wanna start again
I want a new a new beginning
One without any end
It’s a voice that whispers my name
It’s a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something’s beautiful
I’ve heard it in the silence
Seen it on a face
I’ve felt it in a long hour
Like a sweet embrace
I know this is true
It’s calling out to me
It’s the child on her wedding day
It’s the daddy that gives her away–Father
Something beautiful
When we laugh so hard we cry
It’s the love between you and I
Something beautiful
–“Something Beautiful”, Newsboys

…I hunger for the daily bread of Your ways
Ah, the bread of Your ways
They glow like blue in a field of black
Illuminating the runway ahead
I love to follow the angel tread of Your ways
Ah, the tread of Your ways
And when I tire, they bring a second wind
A word in season, a gleam in Your eye…
I need Your good word speaking
When there’s nothing to say
I need Your Spirit here
Breathing on me every day
Every night I need Your love’s pure light
And I’ve learned forever to trust
Ever to follow
Ever I’ll praise Your everlasting ways
I love Your ways, Your true, Your perfect ways
I love Your ways, so beautiful to me
Lovely always, and faithful to restore
I love Your ways
–“I Love Your Ways”, Newsboys

The Way I Was Made

The Way I Was Made

Caught in the half-light, I’m caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I’m tied-up, what’s holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I’ve forgotten help me to find
All that You’ve promised let it be in my life

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made
…
-by chris tomlin

The way I was made ……………….. Oh, I long for that! Someday I will be perfect, no more flaws, imperfections or blemishes. No more aches or anguish. No more fears, no more insecurities, no more! Until that day (oh, what a glorious day it will be!), I can only turn to Jesus for His grace to live each day, one day at a time, reflecting Him and His glory and becoming ever more like His beautiful likeness. The way I was made to be.

Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
 and He shall bring it to pass.


-Psalm 37:5
Psalm 73:26-28

Psalm 73:26-28

– Pismo Pier, August 2006 –

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

Talking and Hearing

Talking and Hearing

My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
– song of solomon 2:14

What does God desire from us?
He wants to hear us.

This came through stronger than ever the other night as I was talking on the phone.
I realized that I did not spend two to three hours on the phone just so that I can talk about myself. I do not do it so that I can change that person to my way of thinking. I do not do it so that I can in any way control them or impose on their time.

I spend time on the phone so that I might know the other person, so that he might communicate his heart to me.

I know that God is omniscient, that He knows all things, even our hearts. But knowing a heart and having that heart opened up to you are two very, very different things.

I easily forget what I have said during the hours on the phone, but what he said sticks with me for a long time. I realized that a similar thing happens when I pray: I forget what I have brought before the LORD, but when He speaks ………….. I remember. At least, most of the time. It made me think, do I treat God as the One Who loves me like no other and Who desires to be first in my affection? Do I see Him as being the One Love of my life Who is jealous of all others? Or do I see Him as …. God?

Living With The Abandon Of Faith

Living With The Abandon Of Faith

Trust in God entirely, and when He brings you to the venture, see that you take it.
We act like pagans in a crisis, only one out of a crowd is daring enough to bank his faith in the character of God.
-O.C., My Utmost For His Highest, May 30