Elizabeth Smillie

We received a page-long notice yesterday saying that the pools in the complex will open this Saturday (yay! get out your towels and sunscreen!).
That statement took up one line.
The rest of the page was taken up by rules and the consequences (i.e. pool being closed) for not following them.

There are some very basic and expected ones, such as:
1. Pool hours are 10:00 am to 9:00 pm daily.
2. All person using the pool or pool area do so at their own risk …
4. Residents will be held responsible for all actions of their guests
7. Proper swimming attire is required. No denim …
8. No glass allowed in pool area
9. No running, pushing, wrestling, dunking, horseplay …
15. No pets allowed in pool area

But then there are also some that, well, aren’t so basic or expected (or at least, I didn’t expect to see them):
7. … water rafts and play equipment must be approved by the management
10. Chewing gum is extremely unsafe in water and is not permitted in the pool area
12. Do not swim when too tired, hot, cold, or within two hours after eating

And my favorites:
21. Splashing, spouting of water or similar unhygienic actions will not be tolerated
24. Public display of affection is not permitted: hugging, kissing, etc.

Hmm. Well, I guess they have to draw a line somewhere. But no splashing? And calling splashing unhygienic? I laughed. I know it wasn’t very respectful of me, but I did.
I also laughed at the one about chewing gum, although I’m sure it is very possible for someone to get excited while swimming and choke on their gum.
And I laughed at number 24, the one about pda. “Don’t you dare be affectionate. This is your home, but affection is not allowed” (the same person who wrote the rule about no live Christmas trees being allowed in the apartments must have written that one). So if I want to give John or Emma a kiss, we’ll get out of the pool and walk outside the gate. Uh, yeah.

I really am not trying to mock them, it just struck me as being funny. Ridiculously funny.
Maybe I just have a hard time with people putting unnecessarily harsh limitations on my actions (or any limitations, really. but I’ve learned to accept the reasonable ones). Maverick Liz.
I have a feeling that there may have been “situations” in the past, and the management is trying to prevent those from reoccurring by adding a rule for each situation.
But the funny thing is, they actually already have rules that address those situations: splashing (as unhygienic as it may be) could be classified as “horseplay”, for example.

p.s. you also can’t use the pools if you have a cold (#14)